So we have all heard the radio ads about “let us help you get out of debt”. You all have heard them; they play them at all key times. They know you will be in the car in the morning on the way to work, they know you will be on your way to lunch at noon, and they know around 5 to 6 your sorry ass will be driving home from a nice day of work. I usually laugh at these especially when they say things like “we are a nonprofit organization but for a small amount of $$ fill out our loan application and we can help you get out of debt”. Not all these services are bad, I’m sure there are good ones out there. I have not looked for good or bad ones but this morning’s encounter with one is worth writing about. This gentleman on the phone had obviously had more than one cup full from the STUPID CUP!!!

Credit Card Cory – Good Morning Can I speak with Mr. Stupid Cup

Mr. Stupid Cup – This is him

Credit Card Cory – Hello Mr. Stupid Cup, I hate to bother you this morning but we have an offer for you that you just must hear about. We can cut your monthly debt almost in half.

Now normally I would have just hung up, or maybe cursed him out, but I was in the mood to have some fun with someone.

Mr. Stupid Cup – Really, Now how are you going to do that?

Credit Card Cory – Well Sir we are ready to give you a preapproved loan to pay off all your debt and will cut almost all of your interest rates in half.

Mr. Stupid Cup – WOW REALLY, so you’re going to give me a loan for 80 thousand dollars at a 3% interest rate, that’s incredible

Credit Card Cory – Mr. Stupid Cup, I did not say the loan amount or the interest rate. Sir there is an application process.

Mr. Stupid Cup – Cory did you not just say you were going to give me a preapproved loan to pay off my bills with a lower interest rate.

Credit Card Cory – Well yes Sir but there is still a loan application.

Mr. Stupid Cup – Well that is not what you said.

Credit Card Cory – Mr. Stupid Cup we want to help you

Mr. Stupid Cup – Well if you want to help me you will give me an 80 Thousand Dollar loan at a 3% interest rate

Credit Card Cory – Sir, I cannot just give you a loan of that amount,

Mr. Stupid Cup – You can’t??? I thought you said you wanted to help; you don’t really want to help do you. You want me to lose my house, you want my children to starve (I don’t have any kids but it was funny) As long as you get your check for having me fill out some application you don’t care. You won’t even remember this conversation tomorrow.

Credit Card Cory – Sir, I do care, I just need you to fill out the application and questionnaire and we can start the process.

Mr. Stupid Cup – Listen put me on hold, go talk to your Credit Analyst and ask them if they are going to give me an unsecured loan for 80K at 3%. If you come back and say yes then I will do the application, deal???

Credit Card Cory – Ok Sir Hold Please

Poor Credit Card Cory, Probably some College Kid trying to make a buck or two, He was not pushy and spiteful enough to be middle aged and tainted by the system yet.

Credit Card Cory – Sir after speaking with my Loan Analyst, we would not be able to offer you that large of a loan, but we are here to help you

Mr. Stupid Cup – Cory, you are here to help me but you cannot give me a loan, I mean really, Are you going to come over and wash my car, are you going to mow my lawn. Are you going to mail me all your spare coins so I can feed little Timmy?? I’m sure you’re not going to any of this right?

Credit Card Cory – Sir I think you’re being a bit unreasonable, have I caught you at a bad time? I want you to know we are here to help

Mr. Stupid Cup – Cory, you called me at 8am, I have not had my coffee yet, you say you’re here to help and your really not, My yard needs to me mowed, Timmy is hungry and you won’t give me a damn loan. So I don’t think I’m being unreasonable. I think you’re not thinking and just reading off your damn computer script.

Dead Silence on the other line

Mr. Stupid Cup – Cory, Before we hang up this morning, let me say when you want to help, call me back with a preapproved offer for 80k at 3%. Or look up my address and show up with a Rake and start on the yard. If you care show me you care.

I’m trying not to laugh at this point

Credit Card Cory – Sir, I’m sorry we could not help you today, but I want you to know that we care and we are here to help you in the future.

I love these calls. How can someone live with themselves doing this type of work? I know people have to make a living but I mean come on people. I have more respect for the Front door person at Wal-Mart than this type of telemarketer. Why say you care when you don’t? Why Say you want to help when you don’t give two shits about me. I would rather have him say, Good Morning Sir, I’m going to read from a script, I don’t give two hoots about you, but if you want our product here are the details. Good Day. But what you get is someone basically insulting my intelligence. Let me sound like I’m sympathizing with you and your situation. Wait you just spilled a big sip of Stupid Cup on your shirt!!!!!!!! I’m sure I will be the talk of the office until lunch time. Drink up boys and girls of the “I can cut your bills in half world”. Make those calls and you just might be lucky enough to get Mr. Stupid Cup or an affiliate on the line