So I usually don’t get into heated debates about politics and things. I have my opinions and others have theirs.  But this week I saw video and photos of an event that made me want to share my opinions with you.As many of you know Presidential Candidate Senator Barack Obama has been touring the Middle East Region and other countries this week. One of the countries visited was Jordan, if you do not know the location of Jordan let me help

 

So as you can see Jordan borders Iraq. Well we all know where Iraq is because well THERE IS A WAR GOING ON THERE!!!!Senator Obama obviously did not wake up the morning he landed in Jordan and have a few cups of smart and logic. Nope I’m guessing he had about a Gallon of Stupid Cup

 

As you can see in the photos above the Senator figured he’d get his arm workout in for the day instead of WEARING THE BODY ARMOR THEY GAVE HIM!!! Let me stop and think, I am in a hostile part of the world boarding a country we are at war in, I’m the first BLACK Presidential Candidate, OH yeah and I’m AMERICAN. I would think he would want to be wearing that body armor instead of carrying it!!!!! Where is the common sense and logic here?? Anyone, Anyone, Bueller, Bueller??

If I was Obama I would seriously take a look at my advisers and let’s say FIRE THEM!!! Can you see that conversation on the helicopter?

Senator Obama - So guys do you think we should put on our Body Armor and Helmets just in case anything happens.

Advisor - Well Senator if you want to look like a pussy go right ahead, but we won’t be wearing them, tough guys always get the chicks.

Senator Obama - Well Guys your right I don’t want the world to think I’m a wimp and afraid of bombs and bullets.

Advisor - Besides Senator our intelligence community says we have nothing to worry about here, we are totally safe.

Senator Obama - Oh I’m glad to hear that, our Intel community is never wrong.

The Senator has nothing true to worry about; he is keeping a secret from his advisors. Snipers, IED’s, Bombs, Insurgents, Nothing will stop him,

 

He can stop bullets, outrun terrorists, and best of all he can dodge the most destructive thing of all, questions from the American people.

Put down the Stupid Cup Senator Obama!!! Your not Superman. Wear your body armor and stay alive for the election please.

Now I don’t normally complain about anyone in emergency services. I have a lot of respect for the positions, but last night a state trooper just had to flex is little muscles.

I was riding passenger yesterday in a friend’s car. When he pulled out onto the main road, (maybe a little fast) he was behind a State Trooper. After pulling onto the main road we were doing the speed limit, not tailgating, and from my view not doing anything out of the ordinary. We saw the Trooper pull into a store and pull right back out, we knew we were being pulled over. Not sure for what yet though. Trooper approaches and greets us with the friendly yet stern manner. When the driver asked what he was doing, the Trooper just paused and blankly looked at him. (Now in my opinion he was searching through his mind to think of a reason. Now this really aggravates me!! If you’re pulling me over you best have a reason. ) The Trooper after a long pause finally says, “I pulled you over for impeded operation”. He points to the satellite radio that is window mounted and the college parking passes that are hanging from the rear view mirror. Now my friend was in a bit of a rush and didn’t want to argue. But are you really serious!! It took a lot for me not to be like REALLY?? With all the crime and shitbags in the area, do you really need to point out that I have a little satellite radio, low mounted and in the middle of my windshield. Besides that, are you telling me you could actually see that from almost 50FT away, while driving?? Or did you have to pull that rabbit out of your hat?  Yes he is correct; the laws in this state do say you cannot have anything that could block your view from the windshield. But WOW so the drug dealers, gun runners, and child rapists have a small reprieve since we had school parking passes and a windshield mounted satellite radio.  I think this Trooper accidently ordered a large cup of STUPID instead of his, iced latte with whip cream today.  Talk about needing to flex your muscles and feel important. Maybe he was bored and just wanted to see if we had a dead body in the back seat. Who knows?? Either way Mr. Muscle Flexer let us off with a verbal warning, and we were back on our law breaking merry way.

One of my dearest friends and I were discussing this the other day so I used the conversation to write the entry below.

Ok everyone this rant is very specific. I hope you are not the person in question and if you are then pay attention because this Stupid Cup lesson is for you.

You know when you’re in the office and you really need to use the bathroom. You quietly walk along the hallway until you get to the sacred doorway. You enter and make your way to thrown room, but before you make it there you are hit with it. You all know what I’m talking about, your hit with the smell, of the selfish jerk that doesn’t understand the word COURTESY FLUSH!!!!!!  Even Worse as you are now holding your breathe like mustard gas just went off, and you have finished doing your business, this jackoff uses all the toilet paper and doesn’t replace it. You start to squirm around looking, hoping to find that extra roll. Sure enough you find it, unwrapped and out of reach. What kind of asshole uses the last roll and doesn’t put it on the toilet paper holder? Even more what kind of asshole puts it out of reach? Are you seriously kidding? Like WTF?  I find it completely bizarre that there are successful adults out there that have no regard for common courtesy, how do they get to where they are?? I mean do we need to hire bathroom attendants to change the toilet paper when you are through. Are you so successful you forgot or have never been taught how a spring loaded piece of plastic works!!!!!  I mean maybe we should consider hanging a sign up that says “We are all Adults; please change the toilet paper if you finish the roll.  If you do not know how to change the toilet paper, Google it!! But let’s be honest is this really needed. It shouldn’t be but there are many times it is. I mean last time I checked I don’t walk into the bathroom with my Biggy Sized extra strong cup of Stupid. So people please do me and my friend a huge favor leave the Stupid Cup at your desk, heck leave it at home, but if you have to have it at work  just please please please, don’t bring it in the shared bathroom with you. It really is best for everyone.

So at lunch time today, I went to the local Chinese food Buffet. Now I understand that when you are at a buffet the servers don’t do much other than take your plates and get you drinks. They usually are right on top of this since they want some sort of tip. I get in the restaurant and we order our dinks and head up to the food. I see our waitress walking by and politely ask, “Can you bring me some chopsticks please”. She looks at me and says “They’re right over there” and continues on her path. If I go to a friend’s house for dinner and ask for a glass and you say it’s over there in the cabinet, I’m not going to be upset, we are friends. It’s not like I’m company. I would expect that. But to be at a restaurant and have your waitress basically say, go get it yourself. Oh HELL NO. They must have replaced her TEA with a whole bunch of STUPID. Yes little things like this make me very mad. I’m paying for food and service and I expect both. She has enough time to grab your plate once you’re done eating so it can be washed. But didn’t have enough time to walk over and grab a set of cheap disposable chopsticks. I wonder if that works with other things. Imagine your Lawn Care Professional working out that deal. Sure I’ll mow your lawn but, I’m going to do it without a bagger and you need to rake up the grass and dispose of it yourself. Imagine your Mechanic, sure I’ll change your oil but you need to make sure to take the drain plug out for me. I mean if you went to a Steak house and asked for a STEAK KNIFE do you think they would say sure their right over there and walk away. Can you picture that? What rounded this experience off perfectly was when I opened my fortune cookie and it was only half the paper. So not only did I get shitty service, I got a fortune that could not be read. Looks like I won’t be visiting this rat on a stick any time soon, and If I do I might bring one of the stupidcup coffee mugs in and present it to the wait staff.

So the weather is getting hot. High temps and humidity always bring out the best in people. But what I want to know is, why does everyone feel the need to tell one another about the weather, especially when you’re outside. 94 degrees with about 80% humidity, Oh yeah it’s a beautiful DISGUSTING DAY! Bob and Joe are sitting around after working in the yard. Sweat dripping from their faces like someone was pouring water on their heads. WOW Joe it’s hot out here. Your right Bob it’s awfully hot out today. As an onlooker I could not help myself, WELL HELLO CAPTAIN OBVIOUS!!!! What clued you in that it was hot out? Was it the shirt with the sweat marks so bad it looks like you just jumped into a pool. Or was it your eyes burning from the super salty sweat dripping in your eyes. They both just sat there and looked at me like I was the one that was crazy.

Later the same day, in the local CVS I overheard a quick conversation. Someone’s wife was buying aloe for her husband and talking to a friend of hers. 

Polly – I can’t believe he got so burned today. He was only outside for a few HOURS.

Donna – What was he doing outside that he got so burned! Oh he was sun tanning. Donna was he wearing suntan lotion??

Polly – Nope he was wearing that tanning oil stuff.

Donna – Polly What was he thinking!!!

Polly – I told him that an Irishman as pale as him should be wearing sun block, but he swore he read the label of the tanning oil, and it would protect him from the sun. I knew right then it was a bad day. He’s an idiot

Donna – Polly one question I see you have Aloe and you also have Icy Hot? Is one of the kids sick or sore?

Polly– Nope I going to tell him it will help him relax and breathe easier. I’m guessing it will be unpleasant for him, hopefully enough he will figure out to wear sunscreen. Hehehehe

I know as the hot weather continues we will all have our days of drinking from the Stupid Cup. I just hope we stop and ask ourselves how we want our day to go. Should I take a sip or should I just shoot the whole cup down.

First my apologies for not posting in a while, it’s been a busy few weeks with my birthday celebrations.   Now throughout my birthday travels, I noticed something, actually a lot of people that have been drinking from the cup. This entry will not be about someone specific but about a lot of people.

Ok guys and gals, the weather is getting warmer as summer approaches.  The men are already thinking about seeing the women is less clothing and the women are thinking about shopping for the clothes and making sure they look good. Now not all of us (men and women) are equipped with the bodies to be putting on the Speedo or a bikini. Heck Guys like me shouldn’t even take their shirts off in public.

So I ask you this simple question, if you do not have the body to be flaunting it, WHY ARE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! Why in God’s Name would you wear a Speedo if you beer gut is hanging over all four sides it. Why would you were a skin tight pair of pants with a 3 sizes to small tank top with your flabby spare tire sticking out farther than your chest.  Men and women alike should know what looks good on them and what doesn’t.  Some men are just too out of shape or just too hairy to be showing the ladies their goods. Some Ladies just don’t have the figure for spandex and bikinis. Why is it, men who are out of shape where pants to large and no belt, and women who are out of shape and don’t know how to dress feel the need to wear spandex!!!!! Hey there Bear Gut Billy, I don’t want to see your hairy bellybutton and the crack of your ass, so could you please put a damn belt on and buy a bigger shirt. Listen Thunder Thigh Tammy, I know you think the compression of those spandex pants will make you look thinner. Unfortunately it WON’T!!!! PS the Tank top that is not covering your spare tire waist is not helping either!!

There are lots of us that do not have the greatest bodies in the world. But it’s not that hard to dress for success. Lots of men out there understand how to not show off the gut or the wolverine like chests. It’s easy a bigger shirt, a t-shirt, or a friggin Razor!!! So many women know how to do it, I don’t know their secrets as I am not a women but I see some damn sexy women that are not Victoria Secrets Models. They understand how to dress. I wish some of these women would walk up to Spandex Suzy and give her some fashion tips!!!

Guys and Gals the next time someone asks you, “Do I look fat in this?” Please for the LOVE OF GOD ANSWER THEM honestly!!!! They have been drinking so much for the cup that they need your help!! So help them!!!! Do it for the greater good.

Everyone has had that job while they were in high school, you know the job, it pays you just enough money to have some fun with your friends. It’s not like this job will be your career by any means. It’s usually the local Grocery or hardware store, maybe the local breakfast joint or a nice dinner restaurant.  Either way it gets you by during the school year and helps keep you out of trouble in the summer. During a recent trip to the grocery store I met Grocery Store Greg.

Now I usually hit the grocery store later in the evening on my way home after I have all my running around done. The grocery store late at night is always an interesting experience. You have the stock people running around and most of the front end help just wants to go home.

After my shopping around the store I headed to cash out and head home. I was hungry and just wanted to head home and make a snack before bed.

Grocery Store Greg – Hello, do you have any coupons with your order

Hungry Henry – Nope just these few items

Grocery Store Greg – your total is $15.80

Hungry Henry – Ok

Now Hungry Henry hands the cashier a $20 bill

Grocery Store Greg – Thank you sir $25 dollars if your change.

Dumbfounded for a split second.

Hungry Henry – Excuse me I think you gave me incorrect change it should have been $4.20 (Now mind you math is one of my weakest subject, so this is scary)

Grocery Store Greg – oh that’s impossible, I just type it in on the computer and it tells me what to give you back

Hungry Henry – I understand that, but I gave you a $20 bill and you gave me back $25. So unless you have some type of “Let us pay you to shop, and give you free shit, store promotion going on” you gave me the incorrect amount of change and your register is going to be off.

Grocery Store Greg – Let me see your receipt.

Grocery Store Greg – Stupid computer, I know I typed in the correct amount, for some reason the computer didn’t see that I typed it in correctly

Now being a support professional in the computer industry, this made me laugh.  “The computer didn’t see that I typed it in correctly” ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!! Computers don’t think they do exactly what the operators tell it to do.  In the industry we call this a classic “ id-10-T” error

Manager comes over and corrects the mistake

Grocery Store Greg – Sorry for the computer malfunction and thank you for your honesty. $4.20 is your correct change.

Hungry Henry – have a good night

On my way out all I could do was laugh. I remember working in a store when I was younger. Yes we used a cash register to tell us the change, but let’s be realistic, this kid could not do basic math in his head. This is the future of our great country!!!!!!  My only advice is PUT DOWN THE STUPID CUP and Study Hard Grocery Store Greg, cause if you don’t it looks like you’re going to have a great career in sweeping floors at McDonalds or cleaning the stalls at the local livestock farm.

Working in the Information Technology field is always full of surprises.  Day to Day you know never know what you’re going to encounter. IT Support is always interesting, Some Good and Some Bad, but always interesting. I have seen some of the smartest men and woman I know amazed at something a monkey could do. I have also seen the monkey become, those same smart people. Below you will find a story from an industry friend of mine. Also, the first person to submit a story for publication on Stupid Cup. She is a very talented IT Support Professional at a State Higher Learning Institution. Please let me welcome, Help Desk Debbie

Help Desk Debbie - Hi, can I help you?

Stupid Cup Steve - I am not sure, my laptop is not working.

Help Desk Debbie - Well, what is not working on it?

Stupid Cup Steve - Well, when I turn it on, nothing happens.

Help Desk Debbie - Is it charged?

Stupid Cup Steve - Yes.

Help Desk Debbie - When was the last time it was working?

Stupid Cup Steve - Not sure.

Help Desk Debbie - Well, let us take it in to work on it.

Stupid Cup Steve - But I need it for my class.

Help Desk Debbie - Ok, but if you let us take it in to work on it, you might have it back this afternoon or sometime tomorrow.

Stupid Cup Steve - But I really need it for my class.

Help Desk Debbie - But if it is not working, then you can’t use it in class.

Stupid Cup Steve - Really?

Help Desk Debbie - Yes, really.

Stupid Cup Steve - Oh, then I guess you can take it.

Stupid Cup Steve brings his laptop in for it to be looked at.

Help Desk Debbie pushes the power button and nothing happens. She plugs the laptop in and it immediately starts to power on and start its boot up.

Help Desk Debbie – Steve I thought you said it was charged?

Stupid Cup Steve – Well it was, I was using it until it stopped working and then it was just dead!!

Help Desk Debbie – Steve, you do know that your laptop has a battery that needs to be charged correct?

At this moment Stupid Cup Steve suddenly realized that he has consumed way to much from the notorious STUPID CUP! His head slowly drops, as he takes his dead battery laptop back from Help Desk Debbie.

Now it’s nice to see that he at least figured out that his brain was turned off. I give Debbie a lot of credit. I don’t think I could have been this nice about it. I think the conversation would have gone more like,

Hey Steve does your car run without gas?? If your TV remote stops working do you drag your fat ass off the couch to change the channel or do you just replace the friggin batteries???? So lets think, unless your laptop has some type of solar powered panel to charge the battery I think you might need to PLUG IT IN TO MAKE IT WORK!!!!!

Help Desk time: 5 minutes,
Tech Room to look at it: 2 minutes
Stupid Cup Steve to realize that it was not charged….We will never know, Keep On Drinking from our favorite cup buddy!!!!!

Today will be a fairly short post but a serious one (not a typical Stupid Cup Post).  Let us take a second and thank a group of people that should be brought up in front of the entire world, Presented with a prestigious honor of receiving the first internationally televised STUPID CUP Award. Yes lets’ hear it for Myanmar’s junta. Immediately after the presentation we will commence with their public flogging!!!!!  People we are talking over 50,000 now dead and or missing and this country’s leaders are doing very little to help their people. The international community is trying to help.  The aid is there, but it seems that the aid is not reaching the people that need it most. This junta is strong enough to run a country but not strong enough to ask for help, are they not strong enough to make sure their own people get the help they need. This makes me want to puke. How can a country’s leaders not do everything in their power to restore balance  after this type of devastation??? My heart reaches out to the people of Myanmar. I hope the leaders of this country remove their heads from their asses, and figure out they need to be true leaders in a time like this.

http://www.redcross.org/news/in/profiles/Intl_profile_MyanmarCyclone.html

Also I hope everyone takes a second to think of the family’s in China as well.   Possibly 50,000 dead or missing in this country, after it was rocked by a huge 7.9 magnitude earthquake.  China’s Leaders seem to be doing everything in their power to help the people unlike our award recipients above.  I cannot imagine the horror of either of these events.

http://www.redcross.org/news/in/profiles/Intl_profile_ChinaEarthquake.html

Both of the Red Cross links above will allow you to donate to the Red Cross relief efforts.

So we have all heard the radio ads about “let us help you get out of debt”. You all have heard them; they play them at all key times. They know you will be in the car in the morning on the way to work, they know you will be on your way to lunch at noon, and they know around 5 to 6 your sorry ass will be driving home from a nice day of work. I usually laugh at these especially when they say things like “we are a nonprofit organization but for a small amount of $$ fill out our loan application and we can help you get out of debt”. Not all these services are bad, I’m sure there are good ones out there. I have not looked for good or bad ones but this morning’s encounter with one is worth writing about. This gentleman on the phone had obviously had more than one cup full from the STUPID CUP!!!

Credit Card Cory – Good Morning Can I speak with Mr. Stupid Cup

Mr. Stupid Cup – This is him

Credit Card Cory – Hello Mr. Stupid Cup, I hate to bother you this morning but we have an offer for you that you just must hear about. We can cut your monthly debt almost in half.

Now normally I would have just hung up, or maybe cursed him out, but I was in the mood to have some fun with someone.

Mr. Stupid Cup – Really, Now how are you going to do that?

Credit Card Cory – Well Sir we are ready to give you a preapproved loan to pay off all your debt and will cut almost all of your interest rates in half.

Mr. Stupid Cup – WOW REALLY, so you’re going to give me a loan for 80 thousand dollars at a 3% interest rate, that’s incredible

Credit Card Cory – Mr. Stupid Cup, I did not say the loan amount or the interest rate. Sir there is an application process.

Mr. Stupid Cup – Cory did you not just say you were going to give me a preapproved loan to pay off my bills with a lower interest rate.

Credit Card Cory – Well yes Sir but there is still a loan application.

Mr. Stupid Cup – Well that is not what you said.

Credit Card Cory – Mr. Stupid Cup we want to help you

Mr. Stupid Cup – Well if you want to help me you will give me an 80 Thousand Dollar loan at a 3% interest rate

Credit Card Cory – Sir, I cannot just give you a loan of that amount,

Mr. Stupid Cup – You can’t??? I thought you said you wanted to help; you don’t really want to help do you. You want me to lose my house, you want my children to starve (I don’t have any kids but it was funny) As long as you get your check for having me fill out some application you don’t care. You won’t even remember this conversation tomorrow.

Credit Card Cory – Sir, I do care, I just need you to fill out the application and questionnaire and we can start the process.

Mr. Stupid Cup – Listen put me on hold, go talk to your Credit Analyst and ask them if they are going to give me an unsecured loan for 80K at 3%. If you come back and say yes then I will do the application, deal???

Credit Card Cory – Ok Sir Hold Please

Poor Credit Card Cory, Probably some College Kid trying to make a buck or two, He was not pushy and spiteful enough to be middle aged and tainted by the system yet.

Credit Card Cory – Sir after speaking with my Loan Analyst, we would not be able to offer you that large of a loan, but we are here to help you

Mr. Stupid Cup – Cory, you are here to help me but you cannot give me a loan, I mean really, Are you going to come over and wash my car, are you going to mow my lawn. Are you going to mail me all your spare coins so I can feed little Timmy?? I’m sure you’re not going to any of this right?

Credit Card Cory – Sir I think you’re being a bit unreasonable, have I caught you at a bad time? I want you to know we are here to help

Mr. Stupid Cup – Cory, you called me at 8am, I have not had my coffee yet, you say you’re here to help and your really not, My yard needs to me mowed, Timmy is hungry and you won’t give me a damn loan. So I don’t think I’m being unreasonable. I think you’re not thinking and just reading off your damn computer script.

Dead Silence on the other line

Mr. Stupid Cup – Cory, Before we hang up this morning, let me say when you want to help, call me back with a preapproved offer for 80k at 3%. Or look up my address and show up with a Rake and start on the yard. If you care show me you care.

I’m trying not to laugh at this point

Credit Card Cory – Sir, I’m sorry we could not help you today, but I want you to know that we care and we are here to help you in the future.

I love these calls. How can someone live with themselves doing this type of work? I know people have to make a living but I mean come on people. I have more respect for the Front door person at Wal-Mart than this type of telemarketer. Why say you care when you don’t? Why Say you want to help when you don’t give two shits about me. I would rather have him say, Good Morning Sir, I’m going to read from a script, I don’t give two hoots about you, but if you want our product here are the details. Good Day. But what you get is someone basically insulting my intelligence. Let me sound like I’m sympathizing with you and your situation. Wait you just spilled a big sip of Stupid Cup on your shirt!!!!!!!! I’m sure I will be the talk of the office until lunch time. Drink up boys and girls of the “I can cut your bills in half world”. Make those calls and you just might be lucky enough to get Mr. Stupid Cup or an affiliate on the line