Everyone has had that job while they were in high school, you know the job, it pays you just enough money to have some fun with your friends. It’s not like this job will be your career by any means. It’s usually the local Grocery or hardware store, maybe the local breakfast joint or a nice dinner restaurant.  Either way it gets you by during the school year and helps keep you out of trouble in the summer. During a recent trip to the grocery store I met Grocery Store Greg.

Now I usually hit the grocery store later in the evening on my way home after I have all my running around done. The grocery store late at night is always an interesting experience. You have the stock people running around and most of the front end help just wants to go home.

After my shopping around the store I headed to cash out and head home. I was hungry and just wanted to head home and make a snack before bed.

Grocery Store Greg – Hello, do you have any coupons with your order

Hungry Henry – Nope just these few items

Grocery Store Greg – your total is $15.80

Hungry Henry – Ok

Now Hungry Henry hands the cashier a $20 bill

Grocery Store Greg – Thank you sir $25 dollars if your change.

Dumbfounded for a split second.

Hungry Henry – Excuse me I think you gave me incorrect change it should have been $4.20 (Now mind you math is one of my weakest subject, so this is scary)

Grocery Store Greg – oh that’s impossible, I just type it in on the computer and it tells me what to give you back

Hungry Henry – I understand that, but I gave you a $20 bill and you gave me back $25. So unless you have some type of “Let us pay you to shop, and give you free shit, store promotion going on” you gave me the incorrect amount of change and your register is going to be off.

Grocery Store Greg – Let me see your receipt.

Grocery Store Greg – Stupid computer, I know I typed in the correct amount, for some reason the computer didn’t see that I typed it in correctly

Now being a support professional in the computer industry, this made me laugh.  “The computer didn’t see that I typed it in correctly” ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!! Computers don’t think they do exactly what the operators tell it to do.  In the industry we call this a classic “ id-10-T” error

Manager comes over and corrects the mistake

Grocery Store Greg – Sorry for the computer malfunction and thank you for your honesty. $4.20 is your correct change.

Hungry Henry – have a good night

On my way out all I could do was laugh. I remember working in a store when I was younger. Yes we used a cash register to tell us the change, but let’s be realistic, this kid could not do basic math in his head. This is the future of our great country!!!!!!  My only advice is PUT DOWN THE STUPID CUP and Study Hard Grocery Store Greg, cause if you don’t it looks like you’re going to have a great career in sweeping floors at McDonalds or cleaning the stalls at the local livestock farm.

Working in the Information Technology field is always full of surprises.  Day to Day you know never know what you’re going to encounter. IT Support is always interesting, Some Good and Some Bad, but always interesting. I have seen some of the smartest men and woman I know amazed at something a monkey could do. I have also seen the monkey become, those same smart people. Below you will find a story from an industry friend of mine. Also, the first person to submit a story for publication on Stupid Cup. She is a very talented IT Support Professional at a State Higher Learning Institution. Please let me welcome, Help Desk Debbie

Help Desk Debbie - Hi, can I help you?

Stupid Cup Steve - I am not sure, my laptop is not working.

Help Desk Debbie - Well, what is not working on it?

Stupid Cup Steve - Well, when I turn it on, nothing happens.

Help Desk Debbie - Is it charged?

Stupid Cup Steve - Yes.

Help Desk Debbie - When was the last time it was working?

Stupid Cup Steve - Not sure.

Help Desk Debbie - Well, let us take it in to work on it.

Stupid Cup Steve - But I need it for my class.

Help Desk Debbie - Ok, but if you let us take it in to work on it, you might have it back this afternoon or sometime tomorrow.

Stupid Cup Steve - But I really need it for my class.

Help Desk Debbie - But if it is not working, then you can’t use it in class.

Stupid Cup Steve - Really?

Help Desk Debbie - Yes, really.

Stupid Cup Steve - Oh, then I guess you can take it.

Stupid Cup Steve brings his laptop in for it to be looked at.

Help Desk Debbie pushes the power button and nothing happens. She plugs the laptop in and it immediately starts to power on and start its boot up.

Help Desk Debbie – Steve I thought you said it was charged?

Stupid Cup Steve – Well it was, I was using it until it stopped working and then it was just dead!!

Help Desk Debbie – Steve, you do know that your laptop has a battery that needs to be charged correct?

At this moment Stupid Cup Steve suddenly realized that he has consumed way to much from the notorious STUPID CUP! His head slowly drops, as he takes his dead battery laptop back from Help Desk Debbie.

Now it’s nice to see that he at least figured out that his brain was turned off. I give Debbie a lot of credit. I don’t think I could have been this nice about it. I think the conversation would have gone more like,

Hey Steve does your car run without gas?? If your TV remote stops working do you drag your fat ass off the couch to change the channel or do you just replace the friggin batteries???? So lets think, unless your laptop has some type of solar powered panel to charge the battery I think you might need to PLUG IT IN TO MAKE IT WORK!!!!!

Help Desk time: 5 minutes,
Tech Room to look at it: 2 minutes
Stupid Cup Steve to realize that it was not charged….We will never know, Keep On Drinking from our favorite cup buddy!!!!!

Today will be a fairly short post but a serious one (not a typical Stupid Cup Post).  Let us take a second and thank a group of people that should be brought up in front of the entire world, Presented with a prestigious honor of receiving the first internationally televised STUPID CUP Award. Yes lets’ hear it for Myanmar’s junta. Immediately after the presentation we will commence with their public flogging!!!!!  People we are talking over 50,000 now dead and or missing and this country’s leaders are doing very little to help their people. The international community is trying to help.  The aid is there, but it seems that the aid is not reaching the people that need it most. This junta is strong enough to run a country but not strong enough to ask for help, are they not strong enough to make sure their own people get the help they need. This makes me want to puke. How can a country’s leaders not do everything in their power to restore balance  after this type of devastation??? My heart reaches out to the people of Myanmar. I hope the leaders of this country remove their heads from their asses, and figure out they need to be true leaders in a time like this.

http://www.redcross.org/news/in/profiles/Intl_profile_MyanmarCyclone.html

Also I hope everyone takes a second to think of the family’s in China as well.   Possibly 50,000 dead or missing in this country, after it was rocked by a huge 7.9 magnitude earthquake.  China’s Leaders seem to be doing everything in their power to help the people unlike our award recipients above.  I cannot imagine the horror of either of these events.

http://www.redcross.org/news/in/profiles/Intl_profile_ChinaEarthquake.html

Both of the Red Cross links above will allow you to donate to the Red Cross relief efforts.

So we have all heard the radio ads about “let us help you get out of debt”. You all have heard them; they play them at all key times. They know you will be in the car in the morning on the way to work, they know you will be on your way to lunch at noon, and they know around 5 to 6 your sorry ass will be driving home from a nice day of work. I usually laugh at these especially when they say things like “we are a nonprofit organization but for a small amount of $$ fill out our loan application and we can help you get out of debt”. Not all these services are bad, I’m sure there are good ones out there. I have not looked for good or bad ones but this morning’s encounter with one is worth writing about. This gentleman on the phone had obviously had more than one cup full from the STUPID CUP!!!

Credit Card Cory – Good Morning Can I speak with Mr. Stupid Cup

Mr. Stupid Cup – This is him

Credit Card Cory – Hello Mr. Stupid Cup, I hate to bother you this morning but we have an offer for you that you just must hear about. We can cut your monthly debt almost in half.

Now normally I would have just hung up, or maybe cursed him out, but I was in the mood to have some fun with someone.

Mr. Stupid Cup – Really, Now how are you going to do that?

Credit Card Cory – Well Sir we are ready to give you a preapproved loan to pay off all your debt and will cut almost all of your interest rates in half.

Mr. Stupid Cup – WOW REALLY, so you’re going to give me a loan for 80 thousand dollars at a 3% interest rate, that’s incredible

Credit Card Cory – Mr. Stupid Cup, I did not say the loan amount or the interest rate. Sir there is an application process.

Mr. Stupid Cup – Cory did you not just say you were going to give me a preapproved loan to pay off my bills with a lower interest rate.

Credit Card Cory – Well yes Sir but there is still a loan application.

Mr. Stupid Cup – Well that is not what you said.

Credit Card Cory – Mr. Stupid Cup we want to help you

Mr. Stupid Cup – Well if you want to help me you will give me an 80 Thousand Dollar loan at a 3% interest rate

Credit Card Cory – Sir, I cannot just give you a loan of that amount,

Mr. Stupid Cup – You can’t??? I thought you said you wanted to help; you don’t really want to help do you. You want me to lose my house, you want my children to starve (I don’t have any kids but it was funny) As long as you get your check for having me fill out some application you don’t care. You won’t even remember this conversation tomorrow.

Credit Card Cory – Sir, I do care, I just need you to fill out the application and questionnaire and we can start the process.

Mr. Stupid Cup – Listen put me on hold, go talk to your Credit Analyst and ask them if they are going to give me an unsecured loan for 80K at 3%. If you come back and say yes then I will do the application, deal???

Credit Card Cory – Ok Sir Hold Please

Poor Credit Card Cory, Probably some College Kid trying to make a buck or two, He was not pushy and spiteful enough to be middle aged and tainted by the system yet.

Credit Card Cory – Sir after speaking with my Loan Analyst, we would not be able to offer you that large of a loan, but we are here to help you

Mr. Stupid Cup – Cory, you are here to help me but you cannot give me a loan, I mean really, Are you going to come over and wash my car, are you going to mow my lawn. Are you going to mail me all your spare coins so I can feed little Timmy?? I’m sure you’re not going to any of this right?

Credit Card Cory – Sir I think you’re being a bit unreasonable, have I caught you at a bad time? I want you to know we are here to help

Mr. Stupid Cup – Cory, you called me at 8am, I have not had my coffee yet, you say you’re here to help and your really not, My yard needs to me mowed, Timmy is hungry and you won’t give me a damn loan. So I don’t think I’m being unreasonable. I think you’re not thinking and just reading off your damn computer script.

Dead Silence on the other line

Mr. Stupid Cup – Cory, Before we hang up this morning, let me say when you want to help, call me back with a preapproved offer for 80k at 3%. Or look up my address and show up with a Rake and start on the yard. If you care show me you care.

I’m trying not to laugh at this point

Credit Card Cory – Sir, I’m sorry we could not help you today, but I want you to know that we care and we are here to help you in the future.

I love these calls. How can someone live with themselves doing this type of work? I know people have to make a living but I mean come on people. I have more respect for the Front door person at Wal-Mart than this type of telemarketer. Why say you care when you don’t? Why Say you want to help when you don’t give two shits about me. I would rather have him say, Good Morning Sir, I’m going to read from a script, I don’t give two hoots about you, but if you want our product here are the details. Good Day. But what you get is someone basically insulting my intelligence. Let me sound like I’m sympathizing with you and your situation. Wait you just spilled a big sip of Stupid Cup on your shirt!!!!!!!! I’m sure I will be the talk of the office until lunch time. Drink up boys and girls of the “I can cut your bills in half world”. Make those calls and you just might be lucky enough to get Mr. Stupid Cup or an affiliate on the line

It’s late and I’m tired but for some reason I feel compelled to tell you all about my day and the lack of simple common courtesy people seem to have nowadays.

Today I went out to a Gem Show. They sell loose gems and jewelry. Figured it would be an interesting time.

Never in my life have I seen such a lack of common courtesy. I cannot single anyone out, it was not a race, religion, age or gender thing, it was just everyone.

As I walked around I noticed people pushing, stepping in front of others, actually taking items out of someone elses hands. It made my gut turn to think that people could be like this. What happened to manners? Has our society really gotten this bad that people need to act like animals? I went about my business until I could not take it anymore!! As i was walking down the aisle a man literally walked directly into me. Now it wasn’t like he didn’t see me. If I new any better I would have thought he was picking a fight with me. Here is the brief conversation before Security paid us a visit.

Me - WOW excuse me

No Manners Manny - oh sorry (and very sarcastic)

Me - NO I believe the word is EXCUSE ME!! You know what you say to someone right before you WALK INTO THEM

No Manners Manny - Excuse me

Me - I mean did you not see me or were you just being that friggin rude.

I will admit at this point I should have just walked away but I just couldn’t take it anymore!

Security - Excuse me gentlemen is there a problem?

Me - other than the fact this guy is an asshole and just walks right into people

No Manners Manny - No problem, I did walk into him so he does have a right to be mad,

Me - Thank you for acknowledging the fact you have no courtesy for people, (what an asshole, said very under my breath)

Now I have never been to smart at keeping my mouth shut when I should.

Security - Ok, Ok, you go that way and you go that way.

I turn with a big smile on my face and look at the Security Guard and realized that he was trying not to laugh from the whole situation.

Me -  Thank you sir for your assistance in resolving this matter. (trying not to laugh either)

Security - Have a nice day.

As I walk away an older gentleman came over and put his hand on my shoulder and said “Good for you, the people here are just acting plain rude, Someone had to say something, Good for you, for standing up for yourself”.

I guess my breaking point in all this was the fact that it’s not hard to have manners. It’s not hard to be courteous around people!!! This whole thing made me reflect back on a comment that was left on a previous post I had made. “Just another example of the “it’s all about me” generation that U.S. citizens have become.” I’m not saying this is everyone but I think we all need to reflect on our actions around other people and maybe just try and bring back day to day courtesy. It’s not hard to take a second and open a door for someone, or just hold the door for an approaching person. After you read this I hope you can think of a way to show common courtesy to someone.

Also after reading this remember it’s not wise to be drinking for your Stupid Cup with Security approaching :-)

So tonight, on my way home from work I was a witness to someone that drank so much from the Stupid Cup she more than likely should have had “Stupid Cup” tattooed on her forehead.

I’m driving along the back road that I take to get home. I notice it’s fairly warm out and there are a lot of children out playing. The car in front of me is driving slow and so am I as to keep an eye on the playing children. I notice a small child about 6 or 7 riding his bike with his mother next to him. Now I don’t know about you but when I was a kid my mom always kept me on the inside of the sidewalk. The car in front of me slammed on his brakes because the child decided to pull out into the middle of the road. Now this is the conversation that took place.

Motorist Mike - Hey Kid please watch where you are going, you could have been hit

Moron Mom - HEY YOU IDIOT WATCH OUT FOR MY KID, HE’S RIDING HIS BIKE IN THE ROAD.

Motorist Mike now stops in the middle of the road and voices are much much louder.

Motorist Mike- Lady are you Friggin Kidding me, Pay Attention to your Kid.

Moron Mom - Go to hell, if you were paying attention it wouldn’t be an issue

Motorist Mike - (Now Screaming) Hey Lady, Since I’m your kids Babysitter I want 30 bucks an hour.

Now usually an interruption of this sort would have sent me over the falls after a full days work, but the humor and stupidity of Moron Mom was just to entertaining to be mad.

As Motorist Mike slowly drove away, he looked at the small child and said “please be careful, because your Mom is to stupid to look after you”.

Now I am not a parent, but I was raised with a very very attentive Mother. This type of situation didn’t happen in my family. If I darted into the road, I would have been quickly brought to safety and then spoken to or disciplined. Through my travels I have seen situations like this more and more over the last few years. I truly feel that some parents do not know how to control their children. I have seen kids throwing food on airplanes at other passengers. Parents did nothing. It’s not my responsibility to baby sit your kid, It’s not my problem if you have some type of attention disorder where you can’t control your child, find HELP. Parents of the world, reflect back to when you were a child, would you get away with half of the crap your kids do today. I bet not!!!

I wish I had a “Stupid Cup” t-shirt with me today, because as Motorist Mike drove away I think I would have tossed it out to Moron Mom. Maybe she would have actually gotten the message, but I seriously doubt it.

So on my way to work this morning I bumped into an old friend. You all probably know this guy also; his name is Horn Tooting Tommy.

I am very fortunate, as I have a 2 minute commute to work through a very small town. Most of the people on the side of the road still wave every morning even if they don’t know your name.

On my way to work every morning I encounter at least one of two school busses. Each one causes a small traffic backup. Now to some of you out there a traffic backup can go for miles and miles, this is not the case here, we are talking like 30 cars.

So I’m in the car this morning listening to the news on the radio when I reach the spot I always get stuck waiting for the school bus, no big deal I have time to kill. I’m on a side street trying to pull onto the main road, School Bus is coming down the road to my left (about to put on the stop lights) and I have a Mac Truck pulling a trailer to my right. Knowing that the bus was going to be stopping and not ever pulling out in front of a vehicle that can use me as a speed bump I stopped. Well behind me Horn Tooting Tommy felt the need to let me know he disapproved of my decision to stop. There are few things that really enrage me while driving; HORN TOOTING IS ONE OF THEM. There is a time and a place for it, kid in the road, sure toot your horn, Hey I’m about to hit you, Toot your Horn, but when I stop for a school bus and a big frigging truck WRONG ANSWER!!!! Horn Tooting Tommy was obviously up to late watching eagerly to see if Hilary took Indiana, and had been sipping out of his stupid cup all morning long to wake himself up since he was now late for work. While sitting patiently waiting for traffic to clear and sipping from my cup, I now pull out onto the main road at a nice slow pace. I have found that while fully engulfed in road rage it’s better to drive slow and piss off the person behind me otherwise I would more than likely follow Horn Tooting Tommy to work, pull him out of this car and beat him to within an inch of his life with a crowbar!! Driving slowly and watching him freak out is much more therapeutic than jail time. I’m driving 20 MPH in a 40 MPH zone, taking my sweet time, watching Tommy through his hands in the air, giving me the finger and riding my bumper. I’m amused. It’s not like he doesn’t know I’m doing it on purpose. I put my blinker on to pull into work, half hoping he pulls in after me to say something (Sip Sip Road Rage still there), but he doesn’t he just whips past me and speeds away.

For Tommy’s sake I hope the effects of the Cup wear off at some point today. There are others out there that drink much more heavily from the Cup than I do.

Just remember A Sip for A Sip doesn’t make it right

Introducing Cell Phone Cindy 

Let me start by saying, Cindy in this case can be male or female. My dislike for Cell Phone Cindy is gender neutral. We all know Cell Phone Cindy, the person that interrupts our lunch with her Carrie Underwood ring tone on full Blast, She is the reason you now know how to dance the mambo because of her cell phone ringing in the office so much. You all at one time or another have been Cell Phone Cindy, I know I have!!

Let’s talk about cell phone Etiquette.

When you work in an office, now I’m not talking about Wall Street Stock Exchange here, I’m talking about a quiet office, do you need to have your volume up so you can hear your phone ringing when you are not at your desk. IT’S A CELL PHONE!!!! Pick it up, put it on your belt, or in your pocket, set it to vibrate if it’s that important. Like I want to hear your newly downloaded ever so cool hip hop or country song ring tone that you got screwed paying 3 dollar for.

Yummy, I love food; you’re probably saying what in gods name does that have to do with a cell phone. Well, while I’m enjoying my double cheeseburger and fries at the local Greasy Spoon Cell Phone Cindy is behind me like a stupid monkey, trying to have a conversation on her cell phone. Why she keeps screaming into the phone “CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW” like a damn cell phone commercial is far beyond me. Ready for a lesson in basic technology, CELL PHONES HAVE THIS NEW INVENTION CALLED A MICROPHONE, SO COULD YOU PLEASE KEEP IT DOWN AND LET ME ENJOY MY HEART ATTACK ON A PLATE please J

Now I’m not saying everyone is rude with their cell phones. I just feel that society has accepted the behavior for much to long. I mean I bet if Cell Phone Cindy was sitting in the movie theater watching Bed of Roses or Maid of Honor and someone’s cell busted out with SMACK THAT GET ON THE FLOOR, she would be pissed.

I really think the next time I’m out on the town and I see Cell Phone Cindy, I’m going to grab her cell phone, drop it in her water glass and politely ask her to take a big SIP.

Today, the lack of common sense that someone had enspired me to write a quick story. Let me start by introducing todays main character, Cry Baby Chistine.

This Afternoon while spending some time at a local cigar shop, enjoying a nice cigar and talking to a friend (Cigar Shop Bill), in comes Cry Baby Christine.

Cigar Shop Bill - Hello, Can I help you

Cry Baby Christine - No thanks I’m just looking around

Cigar Shop Bill - Ok, Just let me know if you need anything, more than happy to help you

Cigar Shop Bill and I continue our conversation while enjoying our fine hand made cigars.

Cry Baby Christine - Excuse me, The smell of your cigars Offend me, and the smoke is bothering me

Cigar Shop Bill - Oh I’m sorry let me move to the other end of the shop for you, he asks me nicely if I minded taking our conversation to the front of the store.

I agree, I don’t want to bother one of the customers

Cry Baby Christine - I don’t think moving is going to help, could you go outside or put your cigars out.

At this point I look at Cigar Shop Bill and say, I’m sorry Bill I don’t think so. We head up to the front of the store to keep Cry Baby Christine away from us as much as possible

A minute or two goes by and Cry Baby Christine approaches the front of the store.

Cry Baby Christine - I can’t believe you didn’t put your cigars out when I asked you to, I’ll take my business elsewhere.

Ok, Now I understand that things bother people. But I mean lets stop and think about this. Would you go into Toys R Us and ask children to stop playing with toys. Would you go into the local bar and ask the bartender not to sell beer because the smell offends you. WHY IN GODS NAME would you go into a CIGAR SHOP where you can clearly see people SMOKING a cigar if cigar smoke OFFENDS YOU!!! I would love to see Cry Baby Christine on the street somewhere and have her come up to me and tell me my cigar smoke offends her!!! She would get a burst of laughter from me while I continued to Puff away on my stogie!! If  I know something bother me I tend not to subject myself to it. If I don’t like loud noises, I don’t go to loud places. Oh excuse me Mr. DJ or Mr. Singer at a concert, your music is to loud can you  turn it down. We all can guess how that would go right. Now I do enjoy a cigar when possible, I do my best not to subject non cigar smokers to the bad habbit, but coming into a cigar shop and asking people to put out their expensive cigars, I mean WHAT WAS this person really thinking. She is the kind of person that would go to Greatful Dead or a Tom Petty concert and be upset that people were smoking weed. I really just wanted to run to the local coffee shop and grab an empty cup. Then hand it to her and SCREAM, SHOW ME HOW YOU DRINK FROM THE STUPID CUP.

So the information technology age has people relying on technology more than ever. I understand this, but for some reason people think that technology moves at the speed of light.

I’d like to introduce Buffoon Brian. Brian is usually a pretty reasonable guy that is on top of stuff around the office. Below you will read about the conversation between Brian and Tech Support.

Buffoon Brian – Hey if I bring my laptop in tomorrow can you update my critical software program for a meeting I have at 9am

Tech Support – Brian, if you have a meeting tomorrow at 9am don’t you think you should have brought it in today so I could have tested it. I cannot promise it will be all updated by 9am. We do start work at 8.

Buffoon Brian – Oh come on, you have a whole hour to update stuff. I mean how long are you going to need.

Tech Support – Like I said no promises but I will see what I can do.

Next Morning Buffoon Brian comes in smiling, while walking by saying hey brought the laptop with me.

Tech Support – I’ll see what I can do

45 minutes later

Tech Support – Brian I’m really sorry it doesn’t look like your software will be installed in time.

Buffoon Brian – Are you serious! I have a huge meeting. How can you do this

Tech Support – I’m really sorry I can’t make the program install any faster, Maybe you should have planned better and brought the laptop in earlier

(Buffoon Brian walks away steaming mad)

To all End Users, If you have something important, Something you need to have done at a certain time, don’t wait till the last minute. The last thing I want to hear is your sad sob story about how your piss poor planning should now affect my life. Like I should drop everything I’m working on, and run to help you like your the Queen of Friggin Sheeba. Ready for the reality check, I have to seem like I care, it’s my job as a tech support person. I have to put my best effort forward, but please don’t think for a second that I will be laying in bed tonight thinking about my failure to get your stupid laptop ready for your ever so important meeting. That you didn’t have enough foresite to bring in early to test. The moral of the story is simple, Yes computers are fast, yes the networks are running at blazing speeds, but guess what Things still take time.

Remember before you ask someone something, STOP and ask yourself
DID I HAVE A SIP TODAY