So at lunch time today, I went to the local Chinese food Buffet. Now I understand that when you are at a buffet the servers don’t do much other than take your plates and get you drinks. They usually are right on top of this since they want some sort of tip. I get in the restaurant and we order our dinks and head up to the food. I see our waitress walking by and politely ask, “Can you bring me some chopsticks please”. She looks at me and says “They’re right over there” and continues on her path. If I go to a friend’s house for dinner and ask for a glass and you say it’s over there in the cabinet, I’m not going to be upset, we are friends. It’s not like I’m company. I would expect that. But to be at a restaurant and have your waitress basically say, go get it yourself. Oh HELL NO. They must have replaced her TEA with a whole bunch of STUPID. Yes little things like this make me very mad. I’m paying for food and service and I expect both. She has enough time to grab your plate once you’re done eating so it can be washed. But didn’t have enough time to walk over and grab a set of cheap disposable chopsticks. I wonder if that works with other things. Imagine your Lawn Care Professional working out that deal. Sure I’ll mow your lawn but, I’m going to do it without a bagger and you need to rake up the grass and dispose of it yourself. Imagine your Mechanic, sure I’ll change your oil but you need to make sure to take the drain plug out for me. I mean if you went to a Steak house and asked for a STEAK KNIFE do you think they would say sure their right over there and walk away. Can you picture that? What rounded this experience off perfectly was when I opened my fortune cookie and it was only half the paper. So not only did I get shitty service, I got a fortune that could not be read. Looks like I won’t be visiting this rat on a stick any time soon, and If I do I might bring one of the stupidcup coffee mugs in and present it to the wait staff.

So the weather is getting hot. High temps and humidity always bring out the best in people. But what I want to know is, why does everyone feel the need to tell one another about the weather, especially when you’re outside. 94 degrees with about 80% humidity, Oh yeah it’s a beautiful DISGUSTING DAY! Bob and Joe are sitting around after working in the yard. Sweat dripping from their faces like someone was pouring water on their heads. WOW Joe it’s hot out here. Your right Bob it’s awfully hot out today. As an onlooker I could not help myself, WELL HELLO CAPTAIN OBVIOUS!!!! What clued you in that it was hot out? Was it the shirt with the sweat marks so bad it looks like you just jumped into a pool. Or was it your eyes burning from the super salty sweat dripping in your eyes. They both just sat there and looked at me like I was the one that was crazy.

Later the same day, in the local CVS I overheard a quick conversation. Someone’s wife was buying aloe for her husband and talking to a friend of hers. 

Polly – I can’t believe he got so burned today. He was only outside for a few HOURS.

Donna – What was he doing outside that he got so burned! Oh he was sun tanning. Donna was he wearing suntan lotion??

Polly – Nope he was wearing that tanning oil stuff.

Donna – Polly What was he thinking!!!

Polly – I told him that an Irishman as pale as him should be wearing sun block, but he swore he read the label of the tanning oil, and it would protect him from the sun. I knew right then it was a bad day. He’s an idiot

Donna – Polly one question I see you have Aloe and you also have Icy Hot? Is one of the kids sick or sore?

Polly– Nope I going to tell him it will help him relax and breathe easier. I’m guessing it will be unpleasant for him, hopefully enough he will figure out to wear sunscreen. Hehehehe

I know as the hot weather continues we will all have our days of drinking from the Stupid Cup. I just hope we stop and ask ourselves how we want our day to go. Should I take a sip or should I just shoot the whole cup down.

First my apologies for not posting in a while, it’s been a busy few weeks with my birthday celebrations.   Now throughout my birthday travels, I noticed something, actually a lot of people that have been drinking from the cup. This entry will not be about someone specific but about a lot of people.

Ok guys and gals, the weather is getting warmer as summer approaches.  The men are already thinking about seeing the women is less clothing and the women are thinking about shopping for the clothes and making sure they look good. Now not all of us (men and women) are equipped with the bodies to be putting on the Speedo or a bikini. Heck Guys like me shouldn’t even take their shirts off in public.

So I ask you this simple question, if you do not have the body to be flaunting it, WHY ARE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! Why in God’s Name would you wear a Speedo if you beer gut is hanging over all four sides it. Why would you were a skin tight pair of pants with a 3 sizes to small tank top with your flabby spare tire sticking out farther than your chest.  Men and women alike should know what looks good on them and what doesn’t.  Some men are just too out of shape or just too hairy to be showing the ladies their goods. Some Ladies just don’t have the figure for spandex and bikinis. Why is it, men who are out of shape where pants to large and no belt, and women who are out of shape and don’t know how to dress feel the need to wear spandex!!!!! Hey there Bear Gut Billy, I don’t want to see your hairy bellybutton and the crack of your ass, so could you please put a damn belt on and buy a bigger shirt. Listen Thunder Thigh Tammy, I know you think the compression of those spandex pants will make you look thinner. Unfortunately it WON’T!!!! PS the Tank top that is not covering your spare tire waist is not helping either!!

There are lots of us that do not have the greatest bodies in the world. But it’s not that hard to dress for success. Lots of men out there understand how to not show off the gut or the wolverine like chests. It’s easy a bigger shirt, a t-shirt, or a friggin Razor!!! So many women know how to do it, I don’t know their secrets as I am not a women but I see some damn sexy women that are not Victoria Secrets Models. They understand how to dress. I wish some of these women would walk up to Spandex Suzy and give her some fashion tips!!!

Guys and Gals the next time someone asks you, “Do I look fat in this?” Please for the LOVE OF GOD ANSWER THEM honestly!!!! They have been drinking so much for the cup that they need your help!! So help them!!!! Do it for the greater good.